So very sore...

If you read my last post, you know that I did the hardest workout I've done since I started my goal of losing 76lbs. Well, the aftermath is, my muscles are starting a revolution. I feel sore in places I didn't even know existed and I don't think there is even a scientific word for. I am in A LOT of pain, so I felt it would be better to take a break tonight and let my muscles rest. Besides, I can't move. Don't get me wrong, I can shuffle and make it across the living room. I can stand up from sitting if I use one of my children as a balancing pole of sorts. I guess this is where I say that what I'm doing is working.

I knew I most likely wasn't going to be able to workout. So I paid close attention to what I ate. I should add here that when I woke up this morning, my hunger pangs were so strong, I thought my appendix had burst or at the very least I was having labor contractions. My body was craving fuel. The rest of the day, I couldn't calm the hunger. I was eating non-stop. I had my double fiber muffin, a jello pudding and jello gelatin snack, strawberry Fiber One yogurt, turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread and Sun Chips. All of this about every 30 minutes and all before 11:00a. I was still hungry. I drank more water than my bladder could stand and of course, I work on the second floor with a bathroom on the first! Yeah, I complained all day. Just ask my co-workers!

When I came home, the plan was to fix spaghetti or hamburger helper and then at least take a brisk walk. I can be so funny sometimes. I didn't feel like cooking and neither did he. So we had...(shudder)...corn dogs. I only had 2!!! Don't yell at me!! That was at 5:00p and I haven't eaten since. Those hunger pangs are attacking my spine again but I don't want to eat. I'm scared to. I make small mistakes like the corn dogs and then over compensate by not eating at all. I want so badly to feel like I did 10 years ago, that I pull stupid stunts like that. But this is all a learning process for me. I'm not dieting. I'm changing my life. I'm taking it back. I've treated myself like crap and put everyone else first. But if I want to live long enough to enjoy those people I work so hard to please, I have to step it up. It's just sad that I have to remind myself every second of the day, that I'm worth it. Maybe someday, I'll be able to prove it.

I'm losin' it!!